The Resilience Report

How to Love Someone with a Chronic Illness and Other Useful Stuff

Thanks for checking out The (dis)Abled Writer! If my words make you think, laugh, or feel a little less alone, consider subscribing for free to get new posts. If this post resonates with you, hit that ❤️ below—it helps more people find my work on Substack. Want to keep up with future posts? Just drop your email below and hit subscribe. And if you’d like to support my work (and fuel my writing with some much-needed caffeine ☕), you can click here and BUY ME A COFFEE 🧡—because good stories deserve strong coffee!

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Help me to say it loud, wear it proud…

Our limited-edition Resilient (N) AF shirts support the National Ataxia Foundation—because resilience isn’t just a mindset, it’s a movement.

Every shirt sold funds research, advocacy, and real hope for those living with ataxia. Whether you walk, roll, wobble, or strut—do it in style, with purpose, and a whole lot of heart. Grab yours and show the world: we’re strong, we’re steady(ish), and we’re not going anywhere.

DONANATION LINK

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🧠 Please know…

That people living with a disability or a chronic disease aren’t ignorant or disconnected. We’re just... strategic.

We feel deeply. We care. We just don’t have the energy to hand out emotional backstage passes to everyone who recommends turmeric or tells us to “stay positive.”

Connecting takes effort—and when you’re hurting all the time, you learn to protect that energy like it's the last slice of pizza at a support group meeting. We need the right moment, the right vibe, the right kind of presence. Someone who doesn’t look at us like we’re fragile, or worse, faking it. Someone who makes us feel safe. Seen. Unjudged.

Because here’s the thing: most of us have already been dismissed, pitied, or pushed to the sidelines more times than we can count. We've learned to read rooms like novels—we can feel when we're welcome and when we’re just being tolerated. So if we open up to you, it means something. It costs us something.

And when that happens? We show up. Fully, fiercely, maybe even with snacks.

That’s the thing about people living in pain—we're resilient as hell. Not in a “look at you go, champ” way, but in a quiet, gritty, earned-through-the-fire kind of way.

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💡 Try This:

A Productivity Strategy for People with Chronic Illness: The Spoony Sprint

Forget 12-step plans. If you’re living with chronic illness, the real flex is doing one thing well. The Spoon-Friendly Sprint is about working with your body, not against it.

Step 1: Pick one thing. One small, doable task. That’s it.

Step 2: Set a timer for 10–20 minutes. Give what you’ve got—then rest. No guilt, no grind.

Step 3: Celebrate like you just ran a marathon. Because some days, getting dressed is a marathon.

(Read why people with a chronic illness are often referred to as Spoonies.)

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🎨A poem and drawling about Resilience by my friend, fellow author, and the One Line, One Love cohost Gail Boenning:

This weather isn’t very… nice.”

“There’s a difference between

nice and kind –

these gusts of wind

will help us find.

Unearthing fortress

that lives inside

is naught from which

to run or hide.”

CHECK OUT GAIL’S BOOKS!

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❤️ How to Love Someone with a Chronic Illness

Step 1: Don’t try to fix them.
Step 2: Don’t tell them turmeric cures all.
Step 3: Show up. Listen. Stay.

Loving us doesn’t require a medical degree. Just a little curiosity, consistency, and compassion.

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✏️A Writing (or Thinking) Prompt

What does resilience look like for you on the worst days—not the best ones?
Skip the highlight reel. Get real. That’s where your strength shows up.

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I’m looking to add more resilient voices to this newsletter. Got a great piece of advice? Want to share your story? Contact me at writeonfighton@gmail.com or via Substack.

Be well,
Jay

Give a listen to my interview on the Two Disabled Dudes Podcast.

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🚨 Don’t wait. This book matters. 🚨

If you’ve ever felt lost in the body you now live in, A Good Calamity is for you. It’s raw, honest, a little funny, and full of heart. These essays and poems won’t fix everything—but they might help you feel a little less alone. OUT NOW!!!

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Episode 65: Part 1 -- AI in the Life of an Everyday Writer

Is using AI as a writer cheating… or just smart emotional outsourcing? In this episode of The Frustrated Writers’ Club, Gail and Jay dive into the chaotic, fascinating, and sometimes cringe-worthy world of artificial intelligence and creativity. They explore how AI can beat blank-page dread, be a writer’s support group, and gently talk you down from that 2 a.m. “delete everything” spiral. More importantly, they highlight how AI can be an unbiased writing teacher—offering solid suggestions without judgment, ego, or passive-aggressive red ink. Used well, AI won’t replace your voice; it’ll sharpen it. This is Part 1 of a 2-part convo about writing in the age of tech—where the goal isn’t to surrender your creativity, but to use every tool (even the robot kind) to keep showing up to the page.

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Jay Armstrong is an award-winning author and speaker who refuses to be defined by his diagnosis of a rare neurological disease. Despite challenges with movement, balance, eyesight, and speech, Jay continues to press forward with determination, humor, and hope. As the leader of the Philadelphia Ataxia Support Group, he’s dedicated to helping others find joy, peace, and meaning in their lives, no matter the obstacles they face.