Jay's Journal: Notes on Resilience
Soft Pants👖 Strong Spirits 🔥Can't Lose!
💪Small Wins, Big Spirit
A Tibetan monk once said, “If you take care of the minutes, the years will take care of themselves.”
I read that yesterday—and it stopped me.
Because when you live in a body that doesn’t always cooperate—when fatigue, pain, or shaky symptoms make even the simplest things feel uphill—that idea lands different.
Some days, tying my shoes feels like I’m giving a TED Talk on resilience.
So what do you do when the big wins feel out of reach?
You come back to the minutes.
Not the milestones. Not the grand plans. Just the minutes.
Here’s something I’ve come to believe:
Life gives us small, unremarkable moments to quietly practice resilience. Every single day.
When I sit up in bed even though my knees sound like a haunted house? That’s one.
When I say no to plans because I know my limits—and I don’t let shame take the mic? That’s one.
When I walk Maggie, even if I rest twice, even if the selfies are really just an excuse to breathe? That’s one, too.
And these moments? They matter. They add up.
They build something stronger than stamina—something deeper.
They remind me I’m not defined by what I can’t do.
I’m shaped by how I keep showing up anyway.
So today, I’m reminding myself:
Don’t wait for the pain-free day, the big breakthrough, or the gold star.
Find one small win.
Celebrate it.
Let it count.
💡What If the Goal Isn’t to Get Stronger… But Softer?
Some days, I catch myself chasing “strength” like it’s the finish line. As if the goal is to get tougher, bounce back faster, complain less, stand taller.
But here’s the thing: what if real resilience isn’t about becoming harder… but becoming softer?
Softer with myself when the symptoms flare.
Softer with the timeline I thought I’d be on.
Softer with the parts of me still grieving the body I used to have.
What if resilience isn’t about powering through, but letting go?
Letting go of the pressure to be okay all the time.
Letting go of perfection, productivity, and pretending.
What if the strongest thing we do is allow—allow rest, allow emotion, allow imperfection?
So if today you’re feeling tired of being “strong,” or unsure whether you still qualify as “resilient”—you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re still in it. You’re still building something, even if it looks like rest, boundaries, or simply breathing through the hard parts.
That counts.
📖Resilience by the Numbers (and the Nerve)
Turns out, it’s not just you feeling like your bounce-back button is broken. According to a review of 44 studies (yep, someone studied this!), about 1 in 4 people worldwide report low resilience. That’s nearly 27% of us trying to show up for life with a tank that’s already blinking empty. And get this—during the pandemic, everyday folks like us reported twice the level of low resilience compared to healthcare workers.
So no—it’s not just you. It’s a lot of us.
And I find something oddly comforting in that. Not because it’s good news, but because it’s real. It reminds me that resilience isn’t something you either have or don’t—it’s something shaped, stretched, tested, and rebuilt.
For those of us living with chronic illness, disability, or daily health challenges, resilience doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it just quietly endures. It says, Okay, we’ll try again tomorrow. It adapts, even when it aches.
Science gives us the data. But our lives? They’re the proof.
📝 Try This
Take a moment today to name one way you’ve shown up for yourself lately. It doesn’t have to be flashy—just true. Did you rest when you could’ve pushed? Ask for help instead of hiding? Say no and mean it?
Write it down. Say it out loud. Let it count.
Because resilience isn’t a contest. It’s a quiet practice. And you’re already doing it.
Soft Pants👖 Strong Spirits 🔥Can't Lose!
💌 If this hit home…
Please share it with a fellow spoonie, warrior, or wonderfully tired human.
Or check out my books—resilience looks great on your nightstand
🎙️ Episode 67: What's the Story You Tell Yourself About Being a Writer?
On this episode of One Line, One Love: The Resilient Writer, Gail and Jay pour a hot cup of truth and dive deep into the stories we tell ourselves about writing—and what it really means to be a “real writer.” We reflect on our own winding, typo-filled paths, the rejections that nearly broke us and how resilience isn’t about writing without fear… it’s about writing anyway. Whether you’re staring at a blank page or nursing a bruised ego from your last critique group, this episode will remind you: you’re not alone, your voice matters, and your story (especially the one you tell yourself) is worth rewriting with love.
Jay Armstrong is an award-winning author and speaker who refuses to be defined by his diagnosis of a rare neurological disease. Despite challenges with movement, balance, eyesight, and speech, Jay continues to press forward with determination, humor, and hope. As the leader of the Philadelphia Ataxia Support Group, he’s dedicated to helping others find joy, peace, and meaning in their lives, no matter the obstacles they face.
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